its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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