Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just invented taco cereal.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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