He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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