So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
His nipple licking is glorious
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