who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize