Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
