I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
