turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
whose parrot is this?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
