I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
