That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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