I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
