Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
