I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
