If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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