Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
