it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
