There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It's just like the Real World with babies
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I booty called her while she was in labor.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
