Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize