You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
