It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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