You really coming over, don't trick.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
