the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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