It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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