we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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