just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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