I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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