'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
