All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
