You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
