if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
