And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
