hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
