# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
