She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
