Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
