i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
