No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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