You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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