My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize