I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
wow bdsm is so cute
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