We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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