I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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