If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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