You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
