Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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