Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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