okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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