Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
