if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Two words: nipple clamps
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