Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
