Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize