I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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