but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
