I cockslap morals
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize