i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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