i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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