I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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